


We're Okay Now

by kaelyx67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cuddling, Episode Tag, M/M, Sibling Incest, Wincest - Freeform, and then schmoop, little to no spoilers though, post soul survivor 10x03, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 12:15:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2547131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaelyx67/pseuds/kaelyx67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The beginning of Sam and Dean rebuilding their relationship after Dean is cured.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Okay Now

Dean wakes up gasping for air. His shirt is soaked, but he clutches at his chest anyway. He had felt so empty, not just twisted or ugly or dark, but  _empty_. Even hours after he got all of it back, or at least they hoped he did, Dean still isn’t used to the feeling. It’s like every inch of his skin is overstimulated, his heart is beating three times as fast, and his chest is exploding.  
  
Sam is with him in minutes--because apparently, Dean woke himself up with growls and screams. He feels even guiltier when he sees the worried look on his brother’s face. He still doesn’t get it--why Sam is with him, why he gives him anything to make him feel better. Because he remembers what he said--he doesn’t feel it, doesn’t know why the hell he would say anything like the things he said. There was no truth behind it. But Dean knows it hurt Sam, can still remember the look on his face, terrified and  _hurt_ , even though Dean didn’t care so much about it then.  
  
He calms down when warm hands pull him up so he’s sitting in bed, and he can feel Sam shuffle and consider next to him, before eventually sitting down.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“ _Sammy_ ,” is the only thing that comes out of Dean’s raw throat, and it’s broken and awful and Dean can’t stand it that he’s being so weak while Sam is the one who had to deal with all of it.  
  
“It’s okay,” Sam says. He tries for the fourth time that day to touch Dean, but his brother flinches away like he’s being burned. “Dean, please--”  
  
“No, Sam, I can’t. Can’t ask that of you.” Dean’s voice is trembling and he  _hates_ it.  
  
“You can, I mean--I want to. Please, it’s okay.”  
  
Sam’s hands are warm on Dean’s shoulders, his back, where they brush over the freckled skin as they pull Dean’s wet shirt off. Dean lets him, because he’s selfish and he craves touch--Sam’s touch--, he needs it.  
  
“Is it okay, Dean?” Sam asks.  _Is it okay if I touch you again?_  
  
Nothing more than a strangled sob comes out of Dean’s mouth, and almost immediately, Sam’s strong arms are around him. They gently push him back into the pillows--always gentle--and Dean lets himself have this. Sam knows how to make Dean relax, and he presses all the right buttons.  
  
Soft kisses on Dean’s neck, and then onto his shoulder, have Dean quietly whimpering in only seconds, and the next one is Sam’s huge hands skipping over his chest, his ribcage, down his hips. He hooks his fingers underneath the waist of Dean’s boxers, and Dean sighs. Sam looks up and Dean can barely make out his face, but he knows Sam’s expression is soft and relaxed.  
  
It’s not enough to just know it, though, not right now--Dean’s chest tightens and his face screws up, his hand is anxiously scramling over his night stand, finding the bedlight and turning it on with a sigh.  
  
Dean touches Sam’s face--it’s different. He looks a bit tired, which is not surprising, but there’s something else, too. He looks relieved, and happy. He almost looks excited, like a little kid who gets to go to Disneyland for the first time. Dean probably stares at Sam’s face for too long, because his brother’s eyebrows knit together and Dean sees worry, and he wants to say something, tell him _it’s okay, I'm okay, we're okay now_ , but nothing comes out.  
  
“Hey,” Sam murmurs, and he leans in and kisses Dean. It’s their first kiss in months, and Dean breaths out harshly through his nose, and squeezes his eyes shut. _Kiss back, idiot_.  
  
It doesn’t seem to work, though, because Sam pulls away too quickly, and he looks guilty and apologetic and worried and he’s already trying to crawl off of Dean, off the bed, and Dean panicks for the thousandth time.  
  
“Sam--” Dean clings to Sam’s shirt, tries to pull him back with all the strength he has. “Stay, please, I’m sorry,” Dean squeaks out, his voice small, but he couldn’t care less about that now.  
  
Sam hesitantly lays back down, half on top of Dean, the sheets tangled between their legs. He holds himself up, one forearm on either side of Dean’s chest, hands curled around Dean’s shoulders. He bites his lip and looks a little lost.  
  
“Let’s just--um--cuddle,” Dean whispers, and it’s barely audible, but Sam hears him anyway and there’s suddenly a big smile on his face. When he just keeps grinning down at Dean, Dean makes another whining sound, clutching at Sam’s sides and pulling him down.  
  
With Sam’s big, warm arms around him, Dean relaxes quickly again. He pushes his fingers into his little brother’s thick hair, presses a kiss on top of his head. Sam sighs happily into Dean’s naked chest, and pulls the covers over the both of them when he discovers the small goosebumps on Dean’s pectorials.  
  
***  
 **Extra:**  
“Sam,” Dean says in a soft whisper.  
Sam grunts something, and noses Dean’s neck.  
“I’m so sorry.”  
His brother is quiet for just a moment more. “It’s okay, Dean. Knew it wasn’t you,” Sam answers groggily.  
“It’s not okay--but I’ll make it okay. Promise.”  
“’Mkay,” Sam murmurs. For now he’s satisfied with just this. “I love you.”  
He can feel Dean tensing in his arms, which isn’t a surprise since they don’t really say that to each other--probably never have, now that Sam thinks about it. They’re just not like that. Sam doesn’t expect a reply back.  
“I love you, too,” he hears after a very long minute. It’s quiet and shy, but Sam knows it’s real, and he squeezes Dean a little tighter.


End file.
